Kitten Sanctuary – Buckets of cuteness!

May05 Okay so the subject today, students, is cats.  No not the musical.  I do not understand why anyone would want to watch people prance around in cat costumes.  Although maybe watching yummy women in cat costumes… er… never mind.  According to Wikipedia, until recently cats were commonly believed to have been domesticated in ancient Egypt.  But a study in 2007 showed that cat lines of descent probably run through as few as five self-domesticating African Wildcats.  I mean, like wow.  Cats making them selves choose fancy feast over Meow Mix?  Buying themselves litter boxes and using them, and using words like “indeed” and “so forth”, and so forth.  Amazing.  What’s even more amazing is a cat’s ability to render a human harmless by simply sitting there looking cute.  You know such famous tough guys as Wolverine, Jack Bauer, and John Wayne have been disarmed by little fuzzy bundles of claws playing with balls of yarn or tripping out on catnip!  Okay so I made the catnip part up!  Who’s to know for sure.  I even have a theory of why there are so-called “Cat Ladies” in existence.

KittenSanctuarySS01Essentially why women prefer cats and men prefer dogs.  See cats are like men, we’re independent, we only give you pleasure when it satisfies us, we like to hunt, we’re less prone to become emotional, instead prefer to do whatever we want.  In short Cat’s are most manly.  Okay so basically cat ladies like cats because they replace men basically.  In contrast a dog is more like a woman.  The dog is there only to please you.  They’re fiercely loyal, and would do anything to make you happy.  They do have a tendency to get emotional if you scold them, or extremely happy when you pay the utmost attention to them.  In fact dogs, like women, need attention.  Thus a guy might own a dog because they sort of provide a companion.  I have a feeling if it wasn’t for the hope of sex, that we would be quite happy spending the rest of our lives with our dogs.  (Please note there are always exceptions and this is not a hard and fast rule, but it does sort of explain the existence of cat ladies.  I, myself, prefer cats, and I’m a man.  Of course I like cats because they’re low maintenance animals).   In conclusion Cat ladies are around because they really need men, and thus I’ve revealed my true sexist nature!  The End!  **Note the views expressed in this commentary, don’t necessarily reflect the views of Uhfgood’s Game Reviews, or it’s parent company SuperFammyCom.  ***Note SuperFammyCom is super fictional and any resemblance to real companies living or dead is purely coincidental.

KittenSanctuarySS02 Oops, wait a sec!  Weren’t we supposed to be doing something? Umm, oh yeah! Review!  Sometimes I forget myself, in an attempt to be humorous.  Today’s review is about a game called “Kitten Sanctuary”, by Pi Eye Games.  Basically it’s a puzzle game where you have to rescue, guess what?  No not damsels in distress.  No, not stranded hikers off of Everest.  No, not seagulls from an oil spill.  Yes you finally guessed it, kittens!  Everybody loves kittens!  Kittens are especially fun because you can train them to sit on your shoulder, just like a parrot!  According to legend the once peaceful Kitten Island is being invaded by aliens and they’re trying to capture poor defenseless kittens!  It’s your job to rescue them.  The game features 50 cute kittens “each with their own story”.  Count that FIFTY!  100 levels with three game modes.  ONE HUNDRED LEVELS!  Nine fun toys to keep your kittens happy.  Wait a sec.  shouldn’t it be like 200 cat toys.  Apparently they don’t make that many cat toys.  Ahh well.  In any case let’s see how to play this wondrous game.

KittenSanctuarySS03 Wow the first thing I’m greeted with profile creation, simply add a name or use the default computer user name.  The game’s main screen shows kitten island and a kitten on your main menu.  There’s a nifty Caribbean beat to the music playing.  Okay so what’s next.  Okay so it’s a match-3 essentially.  You swap adjacent supplies, and when three or more match they disappear into your stores.  When you match 4 or more a magical rune will appear, and then you can click it to activate it.  The runes are actually powerups.  If you match supplies with a red square in them, you will release trap energy, and you must release enough of this trap energy to release the kittens.  Shuffle rune, shuffles surrounding tiles, bomb rune will remove the surrounding tiles, fireball rune to remove entire lines, time rune will freeze the timer, locations rune will show you which tiles to match for a short period of time, and the lucky rune which will match anything.  With supplies you keep your freed kittens happy, food, drink, firewood to keep them warm, and credits to purchase toys.  Okay let’s see what the interface and typical play is like.

KittenSanctuarySS04 I will try the easy game mode (unlimited time).  The first level was pretty fun.  You need to fill up your supplies to keep the kittens happy in the kitten sanctuary after you have released the kitten.  It’s kind of fun actually.  Simple match-3 mechanics, and yet there’s some things like your matches need to be in a line.  You must clear the red glowing squares to actually release the kitten.  The interface is quite nice and easy, and it gives you decent feedback.  The sounds of the money accumulating, or getting your meter filled.  Cool sounds and particle effects for when you click on runes, etc.  You have score, and your meters, and your credits on the left.  Playfield on the right, and it’s just point and click to play.  This game is quite nice.  I mean you don’t even have to get stressed or anything (except maybe in time mode, maybe I’ll try that).  At the end of each level there’s neat firework-like particle effects and the kittens tend to jump around and play and meow.  Meanwhile back at the kitten sanctuary the kittens tend to purr.  Okay so now that we got that down, let’s talk about graphics and sound next.

KittenSanctuarySS05 The graphics are really nice and pleasant.  They try to invoke the feeling of a tropical island, except all cat themed.  The particle and lighting effects are really neat.  The animations are adequate.  It seems like they’re more vector oriented than just draw cel-style animation.  But it’s ok.  The music has this Caribbean-styled island type music.  Makes you want to go to Hawaii or something.  The sounds are also pleasant.  Nothing to shocking or abrupt.  The meowing and purring are pretty un-obtrusive too.  I mean the whole thing screams cute!  Maybe I could lure women by showing them this game and all it’s cuteness!

Okay well this is pretty fun for a match 3.  I mean it has the same stuff that others do, however it has it’s own twists that make it somewhat unique.  It seems to have enough different things to do that you probably would never get bored.  So I say go ahead and try this one out, you will probably like it.  (Even if you are as tough as the Godfather).  Only drawback is that right now it’s only for windows, but of course I have windows, or else i wouldn’t have been able to review this.

KittenSanctuarySS06KittenSanctuarySS07Final Analysis:  Great presentation, tried and true game mechanics, different things to do, make this a fun and addicting game.  So at least give the demo a try, you might even want to buy it.

Name: Kitten Sanctuary

Developer: Pi Eye Games

Price: $9.99

Where you can check it out: Here.

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One Response to “Kitten Sanctuary – Buckets of cuteness!”

  1. Free Games says:

    Reading the review was sure great fun!! The game is a cute one of course but you really brought life into the game-play experience with the stupendous review :)

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