Star Guard rocks your retro world!

Pew! Pew! Pew!  If you don’t know already that’s laser gun sounds as made by my mouth.  That’s my comment about Star Guard by Vacuum Flowers!  That’s it!  Kidding of course… this game is more fun than playing Star Wars with your 7-year-old friends and arguing who’s going to be Han Solo and who’s going to be Darth Vader!  “I get to be Darth Vader!”  “But you’re always Darth Vader!” “I have the inhaler!  Plus I know how to use the Dark Side of the force!”  “I get Han Solo, because I’m cooler than you!” “But I don’t want to be Luke Skywalker, how come you guys always get Darth Vader and Han Solo?!?” “Because you’re just a kid” “I’m six years old!” “But we’re 7 now grab your lightsaber Luke, I am your father!”  Well Star Guard is even better than that!

Note: While trying to be funny it may have sounded as sarcastic, but really Star Guard is retro-style-gaming-goodness and a side of fries!  Here’s the video to prove it:

I almost should just leave it at this like I did with Space Spy, only in this case it would be because of how awesome it is, instead of, well… I’ll just leave it there.  Anyways if you want to know more continue on…

StarGuardSS01 Well what else do you need to know?  Actually this is just classic gaming at it’s finest.  Simply shoot the bad guys and that’s it.  Green is good, Red is bad.  Watch out for mines (they blink).  And baddies that shoot back.  Guide the spaceman through the castle and defeat the wizard.  Wah-huh?  Sounds like a mix of genres.  I suppose it could be a space castle with a space wizard.  We’ll just pretend that.  We will NOT pretend this ISN’T retro-platformy-scrolly-action because it IS.

StarGuardSS02 Graphics are pretty classic too.  Simple blocky pixel characters, nice pixelly explosions and the animation is really good.  The sounds are bleeps and bloops, like something you expect from an Atari 2600 (or vcs if you prefer).  I mean this game really nails that old-school feeling.  You should just play it.

StarGuardSS03 I don’t really know what else to say.  It’s downloadable but it’s flash, and it’s only working on PC’s and MAC’s.  It’s a fun game, even if you weren’t born in the 70’s or earlier, you’ll have fun blasting stuff in no time.  Easy to play, just use z to jump and x to fire, move with the arrow keys and you can go fullscreen.  You can’t get easier than that.  Did I mention easy?  Or should I say easy to play hard to master or something.  There are some sticky platforming situations and you’ll have to be quick with your reflexes and quick on the draw.  I guess I really did have more to say.  Well now I have no more to say.  If I think of anything else, I’ll let you know.

StarGuardSS04 Name: Star Guard

Developer: Vacuum Flowers

Price: Free Free Free.

Platform: PC, Mac

Where you can get it: Here!

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