Okay so the title of the review is a bit antagonistic. At least, it might seem that way to the game’s developer. I might normally be inclined to change it to put the most positive spin on the game, but this is exactly how I felt while playing the game. I want to let you know up front that I only played it for 8 or more hours but didn’t complete it. In B.E.E.P. by Big Fat Alien Games, you play a little robot named B.E.E.P. which stands for Built Exploration Extra-solar Planets. Actually you play a bunch of them as you undoubtedly will die many, many times. The game is essentially a physics-based puzzle-platformer (say that “five-times-fast”). If this is your cup-of-tea then read on.
Posts Tagged ‘mac’
Okay I’ve got a confession to make. No, not that kind of confession. Sheesh, what kind of person do you think I am?!? Okay what is this big shocking confession I have? I don’t drive. Yep that’s it. I’m 33 years old, and I’ve never actually driven. I’ve had my driver’s permit when I was a teen, but there was no time usually to teach me driving. So here I am I live with my Dad, and anywhere that needs drivin’ he does it. Okay so now we’ve got that out of the way, let’s just say I like racing games. I’m not usually very good at them, but I enjoy them. Okay so with that in mind let’s sit back and imagine what it’s like to be behind the wheel of one of these formula 1 jobs, or whatever. I’m strapped into this tiny cockpit. If I was claustrophobic I would probably be panic right now, but I’m cool. Cool in the sense of being okay, but definitely not cool in the sense of body temperature. In fact I’m burning up. The fact that it’s an open cockpit gives me no relief as i’m snug in my flame retardant jumpsuit, all wrapped up like a present on Christmas. Pretty wrapping too as I’m wearing all kinds of patches from various sponsors. My helmet makes it certain that I can only see what’s directly in front of me, like blinders on a wary horse. The gloves fitting on my hands like a second skin. I grip the steering wheel, just waiting to be let go. The car is humming underneath me. Suddenly the lights go out, or turn green, or a checkered flag is dropped, pick your poison, all that matters is that it’s go time. Suddenly I fly out and I can feel the road vibrate underneath me as I’m reaching unheard of speeds.
Or is that Jazz it up with Zatarain’s? We’re not talking about rice. We’re talking about the new game Zatikon from Chronic Logic. Chronic Logic is the company that made Gish, or at least I think so. Actually when you look at their website they have a lot of games, more than most companies that have been in the business for as long as they have. Apparently according to Wikipedia they also publish (or is that distribute) indie games from other authors. It’s cool though, I’m fairly certain Zatikon is a Chronic Logic Original. They’re so awesome they’ve got their own MobyGames entry! Or at least they must be awesome, because not everyone has an entry on MobyGames ;-) And why the heck am I gushing, I don’t even really know the company. I played the Gish demo like once (before I was reviewing games) and found it too odd for my tastes. Okay okay, so what is Zatikon? It’s some sort of strategy game, like chess (but not really like chess) or Stratego (okay maybe more like that, umm I don’t know). Let’s find out about this interesting game.