It was a dark and foggy morning. The fog was so thick you had to cut it with a knife. The morning was so early, even the moon hadn’t gone to bed yet. It was so dark, a blind man could see better than I could. I stumbled into my office, and sat down to a breakfast of Johnny Walker red. I sat around, for hours and hours. I sat around so much I wore a groove into my seat. I drank so much that I fell asleep until the next morning. That was when SHE walked in. All curves, not a straight edge or corner to be seen. I had sworn off women ever since a man hired me to find out if his wife was cheating on him and I learned that his wife was my secretary and the man I was investigating was me. In fact I lit out of town the instant I figured that out. I decided I was going to be alone forever. That is until she walked in. She didn’t walk in again, I simply said it again to emphasize it. The woman turned out to be my mom, and she had baked me some cookies. Cookies so good you would have shot Betty Crocker just to taste them. She also brought me the newest Nick Bounty Mystery, A Case of the Crabs. Okay maybe it was the first, how was I to know? Actually maybe she brought me the website address of Pinhead Games developers of the Nick Bounty games. I don’t really remember, see I was drinking. In fact this may have just been some creative wordplay because Nick Bounty is a comedy adventure mystery type game. Now that I had wasted some space talking about myself in the third person I was ready to start the review.
Posts Tagged ‘Uhfgood’
A Case of the Crabs: A Nick Bounty mystery!
Thursday, May 14th, 2009New Star Grand Prix – It’s time to burn some rubber.
Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
Okay I’ve got a confession to make. No, not that kind of confession. Sheesh, what kind of person do you think I am?!? Okay what is this big shocking confession I have? I don’t drive. Yep that’s it. I’m 33 years old, and I’ve never actually driven. I’ve had my driver’s permit when I was a teen, but there was no time usually to teach me driving. So here I am I live with my Dad, and anywhere that needs drivin’ he does it. Okay so now we’ve got that out of the way, let’s just say I like racing games. I’m not usually very good at them, but I enjoy them. Okay so with that in mind let’s sit back and imagine what it’s like to be behind the wheel of one of these formula 1 jobs, or whatever. I’m strapped into this tiny cockpit. If I was claustrophobic I would probably be panic right now, but I’m cool. Cool in the sense of being okay, but definitely not cool in the sense of body temperature. In fact I’m burning up. The fact that it’s an open cockpit gives me no relief as i’m snug in my flame retardant jumpsuit, all wrapped up like a present on Christmas. Pretty wrapping too as I’m wearing all kinds of patches from various sponsors. My helmet makes it certain that I can only see what’s directly in front of me, like blinders on a wary horse. The gloves fitting on my hands like a second skin. I grip the steering wheel, just waiting to be let go. The car is humming underneath me. Suddenly the lights go out, or turn green, or a checkered flag is dropped, pick your poison, all that matters is that it’s go time. Suddenly I fly out and I can feel the road vibrate underneath me as I’m reaching unheard of speeds.
Mind wall by Seth Robinson aka mrfun
Sunday, May 10th, 2009
My second mini-review is for a game called Mind Wall from the 14th Ludum Dare 48 hour compo. Okay so the goal of the mind wall is to remove one block of an advancing, floating “wall” so that the piece in the lower left corner of the screen fits through it. You know that game show where the beautiful women contort themselves into odd positions in order to fill through a human sized hole in a wall being pulled down a line towards them, usually with a pool of water at one end when they happen to fail to fit through? Yep it’s like that, except no beautiful women. Which is rather sad. But the game is rather good. As some have said it’s a bit too short. I have a feeling that if Mr. Robinson added more levels and changed it up a little he could probably sell that thing. Fun to play. You should try it!
Name: Mind Wall
Developer: Seth Robinson